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There are two things I most regret and both are matters of self-discipline.
1. That I didn’t stick with piano
2. That I haven’t been more dedicated to dance
The worship pastor at my former church told me that I had a natural touch on the piano. Had I practiced more and stuck with my lessons, I could probably be really good. Instead, the other night I sat down at a piano, and I could barely remember ‘Canon in D’. This made me extremely sad. I used to have a lot of pieces memorized. I couldn’t even remember the beginning to ‘All My Life’. I need to start sitting down at my keyboard every now and then. Otherwise I fear I will lose it completely.
As for dance, my lack of dedication over the years was partly due to my knee injury. I tried to take tap again after I thought it had healed and the pain was too much. Part of me feared that was the end. But time seems to have helped. (And by time I mean almost 10 years.) I had intended to take some form of dance class this summer but lack of money put an end to that idea. I’ve already lost my flexibility. I need to do something. It’s too long until MoCo starts back up. I can’t let the fact that work exhausts me impede me from doing something that I love. To paraphrase the famous ‘Chariots of Fire’ quote:
I believe God made me for a purpose…and when I dance, I feel His pleasure.
I want to read more, I want to write more, I want to play more, I want to dance more. It is in these areas that I have been gifted and it is in these areas that I find Jesus. Regrets no longer. These just became goals.
Today marks the 8th anniversary of when I became a Christian. It seems so long ago and yet it also feels like it was last week. We were getting ready to leave for China and I found myself questioning what would happen to me if the plane went down. I had been raised in a Christian family since I was young but I had never made it my own. Yes, part of that decision was a fear of Hell, something I would not base my decision on now. But that’s what happens when you are attending an Evangelical church. Sinners in the Hands of An Angry Baptist.
I became very involved with my church. I sang in the choir, ushered, did nursery and Sunday school, attended youth group and Bible studies. I went through the 5 Aspects study with my Babes.
Then I went to Liberty where I was told that if I didn’t vote for George Bush, then I probably wasn’t really a Christian. Where every “sermon” Jerry Falwell gave began with “One man with one woman for one lifetime.” Where I was treated as guilty until proven innocent and couldn’t make decisions as simple as whether or not to make my bed for the day. And I began to wonder if this was really what Jesus came for. And if it was, did I really want any part of it?
I came home and fell into Teknon, almost by accident. But I know now that there was no accident. It was God’s way of saving me. While my former church has it’s good points, I do believe that I would have died spiritually if I had stayed there. The best decision I ever made was to follow Shane when he started his church.
The Dwelling Place is not perfect. We are small. We don’t have many programs. Sunday mornings don’t go off without a hitch. People leave. But that community of people have saved me time and again. I don’t think they realize the impact they have had on my life. When my entire paradigm was turned upside down. When I was struggling with forgiving the man who abused me. When I needed love and acceptance that I couldn’t find anywhere else. And more recently, when I felt abandoned by God. When I couldn’t hear or feel Him. These people are the continuous representation of Jesus to me. They are why I am still a Christian. They are why I have made it for 8 years.
To my church family: I know I don’t always show it or say it, but I deeply love each and every one of you. Continue to be little Christs. If you have half the impact on the world that you have had on me, the results will be phenomenal.
Watching: Mother Grove at Mo*Con 2008
Reading: A Missional and Intergenerational Church
Thinking: Okay, I lied. I can’t stay away.
How to Annoy Me: Neglect to mention that the exit to the interstate is closed AND that your left turn signal doesn’t work!
How to Charm Me: Smile. (I know, I’m so easy.)
Quote of the Day: Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting. – Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco
Random Quirk: Odd numbers bother me…



