“We talk of ‘taking up the cross’ or ‘having a cross to bear’ as though God somewhat arbitrarily gave each of us some pain or trouble just to make things difficult for us, to stop us having too easy a life of it. Not so. Just as evil is more than the sum total of human wrongdoing, and just as God’s victory over evil is more than the sum total of subsequent human loving, so our ministry of reconciliation is more than simply the words we speak and the physical acts we perform. We ourselves, as whole persons, are caught up in the process in ways beyond our understanding, so that our suffering, whatever it may be, becomes part of Christ’s own passion, of God’s own passion, and as such brings healing and reconciliation at levels and depths beyond our imagining. Our task is to be faithful to the calling of the cross: to live in God’s new world as the agents of his love, and to pray that the cross we carry today will become part of the healing and reconciliation of the world. We will not understand in the present time how it is that our pain, our illness, our heartbreak, our deep frustration, is somehow taken up into the pain of God and the healing of the world; but if we offer it back to God that is precisely what will happen.” – N.T. Wright, For All God’s Worth

Could this be the reason? I hope so. Otherwise I’m at a loss.