I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to pretend that everything is ok. I don’t want to figure out how to function normally when everything hurts inside. I’m sick of fighting. I’m sick of living in fear. I’m sick of living. I’m sick of taking things day by day. I just want it to be fixed.

I just want to be normal! I want to be able to love and be loved. I want to be able to give and receive affection. I want to be able to hug people without feeling panic.

I want to hit someone or throw something or scream or run. I don’t want to act my age and like I have things together. I want to be allowed to be a mess for a while. I want to curl up in a ball and hide under my covers forever. I don’t feel safe. I don’t know how to feel safe. I’m sick of not knowing who I can trust. I’m sick of there being lingering suspicion with every person I meet.

I can’t do this anymore.

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