Connection with God comes at odd times for me. This whole week, Reegan has been sick. (We found out this morning it’s an ear infection. Oh joy!) That means that everything about her schedule has been thrown off, her sleeping schedule most of all. This has resulted in some interesting nap time antics.

On Tuesday I put her down for her nap. She woke up 45 minutes later screaming. So I went in and sat in the rocking chair with her. I think I got her to sleep for another half hour. Her next nap was half an hour and nothing I did got her to go back to sleep. (Which left both of us extremely tired and cranky.)

Yesterday she slept for an hour the first nap and then I went in and we ended up in the rocking chair for an hour and a half. The second nap, she wouldn’t sleep at all until I came in and rocked her.

This morning she napped an hour and we rocked for 45 minutes.

When I’ve told this to most people, they give me this sympathetic look and say, “Oh, that’s a fun way to spend an hour and a half.” Honestly? I haven’t minded one bit.

Her need for me to sit with her and rock her in a dark room while she sleeps has forced me to be still. I can’t be on the computer. I can’t watch tv. I can’t even have the phone. I have nothing but my thoughts and God to keep me entertained. It’s given me coveted time to think without interruption.

It’s also been the most peaceful I have felt in a long time. Reegan has a cd that plays the sound of running water, which always calms both of us. So we sit and rock. I feel her little chest move against mine as she breathes. And today I marveled at how innocent and trusting she is without even knowing it. There are precious few people that I would allow to hold me as I slept. But with me, it’s like she prefers it. (Which, to tell the truth, kinda makes me happy. 🙂 )

So while I hope that she gets better soon, part of me is also cherishing the fact that she’s sick. It’s allowed me the one thing I can’t seem to grasp in my life: peace.