So I was driving home  listening to the radio as I drove. My station is pretty much stuck at 92.3 (unless I’m riding with other people who mess with it……) and I was pleasently surprised to hear them still playing music. A lot of the time, somewhere around 9:00 or so, they stop playing music and do talk shows.

Let me say this now: I *hate* talk radio.

Anyway, I’m driving along listening to these nice little Christmas songs. Then I realize something. These songs ain’t so nice. This ain’t Rudolph’s red nose and Frosty the Snowman stuff. This is Santa pimpin!

The first song was a female singer trying to intice Santa to do some things that would get *him* put on the naughty list! Talking about stay a little longer and forget about the sleigh and make my house your last stop. Uh, lady, you do realize you’re singing about a fat old man who jiggles like a bowl full of jelly, right? That doesn’t say “ooh baby, take me now!” to me.

The next song was by, of all people, Bing Crosby! He was calling himself the “backdoor Santa”, saying that he kept all the ladies happy while their husbands were at work. He even brought some money to keep the kids quiet.


We have come sooooo far from the supposed “reason for the season”. I know that Christmas is actually based on pagan holidays and traditions and that Jesus’ really wasn’t born on December 25th. I know all that. Even so, what happened to the kind old grandfatherly type Santa Clause who’s cheeks were rosey and who gave presents to the good boys and girls? What happened to leaving out milk and cookies and finding joy in the simple things of the holiday? What even happened to taking the time to read Luke 2 at *some* point during the day? (Though I’m beginning to wonder if we shouldn’t just separate Christmas from Jesus’ birth anyway and set that aside for the time of year we actually think it might have been.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is, when the crap did Christmas become about seducing Santa?! But maybe this is just me asking non-Christians to think like Christians or something. I don’t know. All I know is Santa better just leave the gifts under the tree and get the hell out my house! 😉