Ok, now that I have your attention. šŸ˜‰

(For the record: no, I’m not a lesbian.)

The issue of homosexuality is something that I have found myself struggling with the past year. Not whether or not I am but how I as a Christian should view it and whether or not it’s a sin and if so, how it should be dealt with.

When I was in high school, I remember sitting in my Spanish class one day and this topic coming up. I think there was some big thing going on in the news at the time. (The Gay Pride parade at Disney maybe?) I don’t think we just randomly brought it up while conjugating verbs. (Because, you know, being completely random is so unlike me.) However we got on it, it quickly got down to a heated debate between my friend Rebekah and one of the other boys in the class. All I really remember is him stating that he hated gay people and Rebekah wigging out about it. I just sat in amazement as these two went back and forth, for once not jumping in and running my mouth. Mostly this was because I had no idea what to think. I had always been taught that homosexuality was wrong, a sin, gross, etc. But, to my knowledge, I had never met someone who was gay. And while I didn’t think that hating them was right, I didn’t know where to draw the line. Love the sinner, hate the sin? Didn’t God supposedly wipe out Sodom and Gomorrah because of that sin? I didn’t know what to think so I just let Rebekah rant.

Now I find myself in a completely different situation. I learned more about the issue in my GNED class at Liberty and at the Worldview Academy, listened to Jerry Falwell start every sermon with “One man with one woman for one lifetime” and I have people in my life who are openly gay. People who are kind and fun to be around. They aren’t the sick, sex-obsessed creeps that I was (directly or indirectly) taught to think they were. And when you hear some of their stories, you can even see why some of them chose to live out this lifestyle. As a woman who has seen her fair share of abuse by men, I can see how women would find comfort in other women. The same for men. So I found myself wondering, “Is this really a sin? Can something that brings these people happiness really be wrong?”

(Please bear with me here. I’m still trying to work through my thoughts so I may say something that I don’t fully mean or have a grasp on yet.)

We got into a discussion on the message board about homosexuality. One of my friends biggest hangups is that God would curse people with this tendency, then throw them into Hell for it later. (Thoughts on Hell for another blog.) But the thing is, it’s no different from any other sin. Yes, I believe that it is a sin. I do *not*, however, believe that it is the sin unto death or that it’s the worse one of it all. I believe that the Church has demonized this sin and the people who practice it. I think that sex scares us because so much mystery surrounds it and because it is a powerful thing. So we view sexual sin as 10 times worse then any other sin. We preach against it more than any other sin hoping to steer people from it so that we don’t have to deal with it. And the people who do fall in this area are ostracized for fear of it “rubbing off on us” or “influencing our thinking”. But this line of thinking is what leads to people like my classmate saying that he hated gays.

I believe that sin is sin. Yes, it’s a horrible thing and should not be taken lightly but I don’t believe that God views some sins as worse than others. (Before someone throws in that verse about sexual sin being worse because it is sin against our own bodies, I don’t think that Paul is saying that God sees it as worse. The repercussions that it has on us are worse but the sin itself is right there with pride and lying and greed.) The big argument for homosexuality right now is that people are born with it. To which I say, “Sure. Just like any other sin.” I am born with a tendancy toward pride. I am born with a tendancy toward lying. I am born with a tendancy toward greed and selfishness and hate and lust and gluttony. It’s a matter of which of these things I find my greatest struggle in. For me, pride is a huge one. For someone else, it’s eating too much. For someone else, it’s being greedy with what they have been blessed with. For someone else, it is homosexuality.

I said earlier that I can see why some people turn toward the same sex. Life is hard and it isn’t what it should be. If the world was perfect, we wouldn’t have death and hate and poverty and abuse and all the things that can make people turn toward things that aren’t good for them. There are days when, instead of continuing the fight, I’d prefer just to curl up in a ball and drink my life away. There are days when, instead of loving my neighbor, I’d prefer to run them over with my car. There are days when, instead of helping the person who needs money, I’d prefer to keep all my money and things to myself. Some days I win the battle and some days I don’t. (Forget days, some moments!) But it’s a matter of struggle. I am *very* careful to say who I think is “in” or “out”. But if I see someone who claims to be a Christian but is the most prideful person I’ve ever met, and I see no hint of remorse or wanting to change, I have a hard time believing that they are truly a follower of Christ. But, I could be wrong. The same with a person who claims to be a Christian but is also actively living out a homosexual lifestyle. (Sorry, I hate the word “lifestyle” but I don’t know what else to call it at the moment.) But I always know that there are things that I don’t see. I don’t know a persons heart and my way of struggling isn’t going to look like someone elses. Some people struggle openly and others privately. So it’s ultimately not up to me to say if they are truly a follower of Christ. What it is up to me to do is love them, regardless of the way they live their life. Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world. He came to love it. And that’s what He called His followers to as well. I sit in no place to judge. Only to love.

“Live as if the world was as it should be to show it what it can be.”