You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2006.

senior year memories:

1. Who was your best friend? Annie Hashley and Jeri Mayes

2.What sports did u play? Nada!

3. What kind of car did you drive? I think I had my Impala by then.

4. It’s Friday night, where were you? Spending the night at Annie’s, ordering papa john’s, watching and quoting “that thing you do!”, staying up late, laughing our butts off. (L – LOL! Allison, I just kept your answer b/c it was exactly the same!)

5. Were you a party animal? I would much rather be reading, watching a movie with friends, writing, etc.

6. Were you considered a flirt? The *only* time I was accused of it (to my face anyway) was by the only girl I ever truly considered a flirt in the youth group. And I think she said it b/c she was jealous that I was having a good time with the guys. I dunno though.

7. Ever skip school? Uh, no. I would have been in soooo much trouble. And in a class of 8, my absence would have been noticed.

8. Were you a nerd? I don’t think so. I mean, I enjoyed reading and writing and got straight A’s but I was obsessive about school or anything.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled? Uh, no. Pretty hard when you’re homeschooled.

11. Can you sing the fight song? No.

12. Who was your favorite teacher? Mrs. Benson. I loved American Lit. with her. It was so much fun.

13. Favorite class? Drama

14. What was your school’s full name? Grace Learning Academy of Discipleship

15. High school mascot? Golden Eagle 🙂

16. Did you go to Prom? Ha! Here’s the funny thing. I got asked to the prom when I was 21!

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? No. It was good and all but I wouldn’t go back.

18. What do you remember most about graduation? That I didn’t get to talk to the same person for more than 2 minutes because there were sooooo many people there to see me. It was uncanny.

19. Did you smell bad? Did I smell bad?! What kind of question is that?! I dunno, Annes, did I smell bad? 😉

20. Where were you on senior skip day? Eh……..

21. Did you have a job your senior year? Yup. I worked at Firm 57.

22. Where did you go most often for lunch? Wendy’s, Steak n’ Shake, Hardee’s…….ick.

23. Have you gained weight since then? Um, yeah. I only weighed about 115. The Wendy’s must’ve hit. 😉

24. What did you do after graduation? Worked for a year, then went to Liberty.

25. When did you graduate? 2002

26. Who was your Senior homecoming date? Didn’t do that either.

27. Are you going to your ten year reunion? That’ll consist of 4 people that I still keep in contact with mostly anyway.

28. Who was your home room teacher? My mother 🙂

29. Who will repost this after you? Anyone who is bored or avoiding homework. Guess which one is me. 😉

The grainy high school dance video is striking.

A teenage boy dances behind his winter-formal date, hands on her hips,
thrusting his pelvis against her while she hitches up her satiny gown
and bends at the waist. Another couple dance facing each other, their
bodies enmeshed and their hips gyrating in a frenzy. A boy approaches
a third couple, nearly sandwiching the girl between him and her
partner.
Teenagers call it “freaking,” a style of dance made popular on MTV.
Educators call it simulated sex and say it has no place at school
dances.

I’m not usually one to come down on styles of dance. I love dancing. I’ve been dancing since I was 3 years old. I’ve done everything from ballet to tap to jazz to hip hop to swing. I love it. Any time I hear music, it’s like I can’t help but move my feet. (Which can get pretty embarassing when you’re dancing in the ice cream asile by yourself at Marsh.) But I digress.

“Freaking”, as it is called, is not dance. Dance is about expressing yourself and the only thing being expressed by this type of dance is “I’m horny and I want to get it on.” Even it’s alternate names, “grinding” and “the nasty”, tell you all you need to know about this way of “dancing”. I witnessed this type of dancing when I was in a club with my friends about a month ago. These two girls were freak dancing with these guys. Being quite possibly the only sober one there (I was the designated driver for the evening), I got to witness first hand just how silly it looks. If you aren’t in the moment, sex looks pretty darn silly and if you aren’t drunk, freaking does too.

“Some students say a crackdown on freaking would discourage them from attending school dances.
“I wouldn’t go,” said Chelsea Walsh, 15, a sophomore at Aliso Niguel High. “It would be boring. How else do you dance?””

I personally would like to see ballroom taught in public and private schools today. There is something very civilizing and dignifying about ballroom dance. It takes effort and skill that freaking doesn’t require. It requires you to know and be comfortable with your own body. It teaches boys to lead and gives women the chance to choose to respond to them. And if it’s done well, it can be incredibly sexy. Much more so, I think, than a horny guy thrusting into some girls’ butt.

I don’t know if it would be possible to put ballroom dance into schools required curriculum but I do know that my kids will be required to take it somewhere. Bumpin’ and grindin’ isn’t dancing. Some horny guy moving against me isn’t dancing. Next time I go to a club, I’m wearing a sign that says “Do not hump. Real dancing only.”

So a friend and I got into a discussion about relationships a few weeks ago. We were talking about women who think they can change men and men who think they can save women. Both relationships are distructive and both ways of thinking are wrong.

Most women has this maternal thing in them. As little girls, most of us were taking care of our baby dolls and playing nurse/doctor. Unfortunately, we also carry that over into our relationships when we grow up. We try to take care of people. And that’s usually an okay thing to do as long as there is mutual care taking. (Unless it’s a child, obviously.) Women also seem to have this need to change people. We see something that someone is doing that we think is wrong and we try to change them. If it’s a guy we’re dating, he’ll either A: get pissed or B: comply, as long as we are taking care of him/sleeping with him. Or he thinks we’ll sleep with him if he “changes”. If he’s got someone to drive him places, buy him things, love on him, validate him, and help him when he gets stuck, he has no reason want out unless you nag him to death. I have too many friends who have dated non-christians and said “Well, he’s getting better. He’s more interested in church now that we’re dating.” Or they’re dating a smoker and say “He doesn’t smoke as much.” “He doesn’t drink as much.” “He doesn’t get angry as much.” “He doesn’t skip work/class/whatever as much.” “I’m making him a better person. He’s changing for me, because he loves me.” Yes, that sounds very sweet and romance booky but it’s usually not the case. As soon as you give him what he wants or he gets bored or irritated, you’re going to see a regression. Or even just a sudden switch back. He needs to change because he sees something in his life that needs to change. Not because you want him to or anything else. Because if he isn’t changing for him, the change isn’t going to stick. When the going gets tough, he will more than likely revert to old habits. If a bad/stressful day makes your “former” alcoholic decide that he wants to go get drunk and get in a barfight, he isn’t changed. If a fight makes him hit/shove/kick you, he isn’t changed. If a jerky boss/co-worker makes him decide to quit his job, he isn’t changed. And if you leave him and he reverts back to his old self, that isn’t your problem. Girls, you can’t save everyone. You can’t change everyone. No matter how much you want to. People have to change because they see a need for it. Otherwise you will spend the entire relationship making excuses for him. “He just wasn’t in a church mood today.” “I said something to make him mad. That’s why he hit me.” “He had a rough day. He needed to get a few drinks in him and mellow out.” You deserve better than that. No relationship should have you making excuses or justifying anything. And if the people around you who love you are saying that he’s bad for you, he probably is. Or if you don’t want to ask anyone’s opinions because you don’t want to hear what they have to say, that’s an indicator that you know, somewhere in you, that he is bad for you. You can’t change him. You can’t save him. There’s only One Person Who can do that and you ain’t Him.

Correspondingly, we have men. Men seem to have this need to save the damsel in distress. So they find a girl who’s in trouble and they help her out of it. She’s so grateful. You are her white knight. But sooner or later, she finds herself in trouble. Again. And she needs rescued. Again. And maybe that’s still okay with you. You still have this need to be the knight in shining armor. But after you rescue her from her latest problem, she gets into another. And another. And another. Eventually, that’s going to wear on even the strongest person. As long as she knows that there is someone there to “catch her when she falls”, she will continue to fall. And maybe her falls weren’t so big at first. Behind on a payment here. Trouble with her parents or an ex or a friend there. But the troubles can start to get bigger and bigger. Because when someone knows that they will be rescued, they’re going to take bigger risks than if they knew they were on their own. You can’t save her. She has to make the decision to stop putting herself in situations that she will need saved from. She has to turn to the only One Who can save her. You can’t change her either. She has to make the decision to change because she sees something in herself that needs changing. After awhile, your armor is going to get rusty, either in your eyes or hers. Saving people is exhausting. If you want to save people, become a doctor or a paramedic. People have to be allowed to fall and to fail. That’s the only way they learn not to. Yes it’s painful. Yes they might do something really, really, really stupid. Yes they might end up dead or in jail or any number of things. But it’s not your job to save them. Love them, yes. But love them as God loves them. With patience and kindness and humility. Not a self-destructive love that, in the end, saves no one.

It’s my birthday and I don’t care. Yippee. Another year.

Okay, maybe I’m just in a foul mood. Hopefully when I get up in 6 hours to go teach preschool I’ll be in a better one.

Is it wrong to pray that a certain child won’t be there so I can have a relatively easy morning?

Sometimes I just want to make it all go away.

*sigh*

Happy birthday to me.

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I’m not that girl

Don’t dream too far
Don’t lose sight of who you are
Don’t remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I’m not that girl

Ev’ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That’s the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I’m not that girl

Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so
I’m not that girl…

Such a pretty song! Darn you Kels and Karin! Now I want to see Wicked!

So the new caramel apple milkshake at Steak n’ Shake: definite yum factor!

I’m going to a writing conference in Ohio this weekend. Should be interesting. I’ve never been to one of these. I’m excited though. (Not as excited as *some people* but still excited. 🙂 ) I may or may not get to sit in on a dialogue writing class. Depends on if Mo can pull some strings. (Hehe, I called you Mo in my blog. 😀 )

My faith in the fact that I *am* a good student is slowly but surely being restored. I got my 2nd Logic test back last night: I got an A! *happy dance* Annnnnd!!!!! The Argument Evaluation that I thought I had bombed because, frankly, I just didn’t care: A minus! Thank you so much! And and and! (Can you tell I’m excited about *this*?!) I got my 2nd paper for Comp. back and here are some of my teacher’s comments: “At present this appears to be somewhere between above average and excellent. It is potentially excellent as a whole. At present, parts of it are excellent……Your essay is, at present, never boring. (Congrats!)…..In any event, this is a powerful draft and a gift to readers.” SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my hard work and tears and reliving that horrid, horrid time in my life paid off!!!!!!! (And collaborating with someone who knows what he’s doing! Thanks Mo! *big wet kiss on the forehead* 😉 ) I’m a good student!!!!!!! And my writing is a gift to readers!!!!!!!! 😀

Has anyone taken that Airbourne stuff that every keeps talking about? That immune system building stuff? Well, I’m about to try it. It was invented by a teacher for heaven’s sake. And with the number of snotty noses I’ve already seen this year (not to mention Reegan having the stomach flu last week! :-P), my poor body needs all the help it can get. (I know, I know. Milkshake: not helping.)

Okay, I’m off to continue revamping my preschool stuff since some parent complained that I wasn’t teaching their 2/3 year old enough. And packing. I need to pack for tomorrow. Bye all!

So yesterday was interesting. Valorie got home and I gave her the rundown of the day. As I was getting ready to leave, she says, “Oh, do you know what Reegan told me last week?” (Backstory: Last week at preschool, she fell in those darn shoes that she’s always tripping in and busted her lip open. I put a wet paper towel on it and it stopped bleeding pretty quickly so it wasn’t a bad wound or anything.) I shook my head. Valorie continued,”I asked her about her lip and she said “Lauren hit.” So I said “Did you fall at gym?” and Reegan goes, “No. Lauren hit.””

My mouth dropped open. I have never been so shocked in my entire life. I have no idea where she even got the idea to say that. I have certainly never struck her and we obviously teach her that hitting people is not okay so I was completely blown away. Because of her resistence to staying with me (when Valorie first leaves in the morning. After she carries on for about a minute she’s completely fine the rest of the day.), my first thought was that she was trying to get me fired so Valorie would stay home with her. Then I remembered: she’s two! An older child might try to pull that but not a two year old. Right?

So now I’m completely paranoid about her falling or getting scratched or anything. I could tell Valorie didn’t believe her (thank God!) but it still nags in the back of my mind. I have *never* been accused of hitting a child before. Jerk guys, sure! 😉 But never a child. And it’s not like Reegan is an overly difficult child. We have fun playing and dancing and singing and running errands and going to school and MOPS. She has her moments and can be whiny but what kid doesn’t? She’s certainly not ill-tempered or dilibertly disobedient all the time like some kids I’ve watched. In preschool and MOPS both, she’s one of the best kids in my classes. And I’m definitely not known for my temper. I had one girl at Liberty say she couldn’t wait to see me angry because I was never mad about anything. I’m too laid back. Just this morning at MOPS, one of the moms told my mom that she was so impressed with me. There was a little boy in our class that was, to put it mildly, upset about his mom leaving. I mean, this little guy was pitching a *fit*. I was trying to hold onto him so he wouldn’t run to the door and get run over by people and he was hitting me and kicking me and screaming and carrying on like this was the worst thing in the world. The lady my mom was talking to was standing there when I, very calmly but very firmly said, “No, you are not going to kick and hit me. Mommy is coming back but you are not allowed to hit me.” The lady told my mom “She didn’t sound mad at all. Just told him in a very no nonsense way that this is how it was.” So yeah, at least I know that if something happened where I got accused of hurting a child and I actually had to go to court, I’d have about 200 people to vouch for me. I’ve been baby-sitting and doing childcare for 12 years. I’ve done nursery at church and Bible studies and choir and MOPS and random childcare at Zionsville Pres. and MDO and baby-sat for all the youth sponsors and the neighbors and now Wisdom Builders. Heck, I’ve had people take me on trips specifically to take care of their children. You don’t do that unless you trust the person a *lot*!

So anyway, if you think of it, pray for me. I’ve heard about people being falsely accused of child abuse before but it’s one of those “That’ll never happen to me” things. Now I realize that it can happen to me. At least it was Reegan and not one of the parents of the preschoolers that I just started teaching. Yes, I’m going to all this effort to get my teaching degree just so I can abuse your children. *eye roll* But now I’m even more aware of things then I was so now I can try even harder to be above reproach. I know I can’t be perfect but I’m sure as heck gonna try.

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.
It takes less then a minute to go to their site and click on “donating a mammogram” for free (pick window in the middle). This doesn’t cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammograms in exchange for advertising. Click on www.thebreastcancersite.com and then pass this along to people you know!

Thanks Marcia!

Some stuff that I’ve noticed in the past week or so that has *really* bugged me.

* Don’t leave your trays on the table at fast food places. Pick up your own dang trash, throw it away and put the tray in it’s right place! The dining room person is trying to keep the dining room clean and you leaving your trash all over the place isn’t helping.

* Parents, remember which of you is the child and which of you is the adult. Here’s a hint: you aren’t the former. Do not let your child treat you like crap and talk back to you. I was in McDonald’s with Reegan last Tuesday and there was some lady there with twins and a boy who looked to be about 7 or so. He pitched a fit b/c he couldn’t sit next to her (she had a baby on either side), moved to a different table, talked back to her, yelled at her, and blatantly disobeyed her. It was all I could do not to get up, yank the little brat up out of his seat and tell him to mind his momma before I tanned his hide. This is exactly why we end up with punk teenagers who think they own the world.

* Men: If you see a woman who has full hands walking to a door, OPEN IT FOR HER! It’s really not that difficult. It will take 5 seconds out of your day and if she’s sane, she’ll be grateful. Probably surprised and grateful. And you know what? If you’re single, that one small act just put you ahead of hundreds of guys who treat women like dirt. The ones who don’t open the door, or worse, let it slam in her face. It’s men like that that have made women like me overly independent and practically incapable of accepting help when offered. (Me letting Shane carry in the drinks this morning was a big step!)

* Do NOT ride my tail when I’m driving then get pissed and flip me off when I suddenly tap my brakes to make you go away. You speeding isn’t going to get you there that much faster, especially during rush hour!

* Do not cuss in front of my sister or the kids in my care. If I can manage not to, you can too.

* Do not gossip about other members of your church. Heck, don’t gossip about anyone. Gossip leads to rumors and often the gossipers come away feeling self-righteous. Like they aren’t bad people because they “would never do that”. Given the right time, in the right place, with the right person, you too can fall. You’re not perfect and you sin too. In fact, gossiping is a sin!

Some days people make loving them just a little too hard. >:-(