I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. And no, it’s not because I’m a bitter single, though I’m sure that’s what I will be written off as. I do have to say that I appreciate the history behind it. Whatever version you choose to believe, it’s a cute story. However, I have a problem with the holiday itself.

I’m not much of a girly girl. Chick flicks tend to annoy me, romance books even more so. They present a very unrealistic view of love and marriage and “happily ever afters”. The guy doesn’t always get the girl. The prince almost never rides in at just the right moment. Huge fights that lead to breakups are more likely to stay that way. Valentine’s Day just adds to the madness and the unrealistic expectations.

I believe that you should show the people you love that you care about them all throughout the year. If you are dating or married, don’t save up all the romance for that one day. Spread it out. Bring her flowers just because. Go away for a weekend in October. Have a candle light dinner in the middle of the week. Don’t save all the fun stuff for one day that falls in a sucky month anyway. The commercials that say that this is the one day to show that special someone that you care are lying.

Another problem I have is Valentine’s Day is geared right toward women. Men do all the work and get almost no payback. A tie maybe. Or a gift certificate. Meanwhile, all of the commercials and displays have her expecting flowers and a card and chocolates and a teddy bear and dinner and jewelry and………you get the idea.

I’m all about loving other people and showing them that you love them. But not in a hyped up, Hallmark card selling way that begins to feel inauthentic. By dying to yourself and your own desires. By being willing to lay down your life. By showing them in the little things and by being willing to stick it out in the good and the bad. That’s the way to show someone that you love them. I’ll give Valentine’s Day more credit when I start to see Hallmark commercials about that.