Alright, since this has turned into “give Lauren crap for being single” year, I am “busting” some of the reasons people seem to believe on why I won’t date.

Myth #1: You must be a lesbian – I. Do. Not. Like. Girls. I don’t know how many other ways I can say this but it’s always the first thing thrown out. To which I usually respond “Are you serious? Women are crazy!” Why is it that when a girl turns down a guy, automatically his response is “She must be a lesbian”. *buzzer sound* Wrong answer! Please try again.

Myth #2: You think you’re too good for me – I do not think I’m too good for you. This is another comment that gets thrown at me a lot. There is a difference between thinking I’m too good for someone and having standards and things that I’m attracted to. If you don’t meet my most important standards and I’m not attracted to you (I’m talking more than just looks here), I’m not going to waste both our time by saying yes to a date. Maybe I’m wrong and you are my Prince Charming but then it’s my loss and some other girl’s gain.

Myth #3: You’re scared – I am not scared of you. This is probably my favorite. During Mo*Con, Sheryl and I were showing Wrath around town and we ended up in a club. We sat and were drinking and talking with Wrath sitting in between us girls. We’d been there awhile when some guy comes from out of nowhere and plops down next to me. Fortunately, Wrath was paying attention and quickly shooed the guy away. A little while later, he comes back and Wrath doesn’t see him. So we end up having the following conversation:
Guy: So who is this guy to say who you can and cannot talk to?
Me: My bodyguard.
Guy:Really? Who is he to her? (“Her” being Sheryl.)
Me: He’s her bodyguard too.
Guy: Well, you shouldn’t let him tell you who you can talk to.
Me: I don’t want to talk.
Guy: You must be scared then.
Me: Nope. I’m not scared and I don’t want to talk.
Guy: You’re scared then. (*gets up and walks away to make sure he has the last word*)

Very mature. Darn, why did I turn down a prize like him? Hmm……..

I think those are the main three I tend to get. None of them are true and while I don’t feel the need to explain myself, blogging it out helps me think it through. I realize that these responses are usually the guy trying to save face. “If she doesn’t like me, it must be because she likes women.” Not so much. Remember guys: if you ask a woman out and she says no, it’s probably not meant as a personal insult or attack. She probably thinks you’re a great guy. (At least until you start calling her a lesbian or being a jerk because your pride got stepped on a bit.) But, for whatever reason (many of which have absolutely nothing to do with you), she is not interested. I don’t care what Hitch says: I’m not interested isn’t always code for “try harder”. Not all women play those games. I am very straightforward and will tell you yes or no based on my true answer. (Shocking, I know.) If you ask a woman out and she says no, it’s okay. You can probably still be friends. Move on to someone else. Don’t keep pestering her. That’s not going to win you any points. I know, negative attention is still attention and that whole bit but really. How 2 year old can you be? Be man enough to move on and if she sees that you handle rejection like an adult, that might just change her mind. Not definitely, but maybe. But don’t call her a lesbian. Don’t tell her she’s scared or that she thinks she’s too good for you. And if she does think she’s too good for you, you’re better off without her anyway. (Probably on the lesbian front too…….)

But don’t take my word for it. No, really. Go try calling the next girl who rejects you a lesbian. See how far it gets you. 😀