Listening: All That I Know by Collective Soul

Reading: the nutritional information on this Laffy Taffy packet

Thinking: This is going straight to my thighs.

How to Annoy Me: Pee on the carpet not 5 minutes after I let you outside to do that very thing.

How to Charm Me: Give me a look of love and understanding when we’re shopping for dresses and I confess my pathetic secret to you.