I’m on the ground, rolling and looking around wildly. My two attackers circle around me, trying to get close. “I’ll get her legs, you grab her arms,” the bigger one says. Only if you can get close enough to grab me.

I’m lying face down on the ground, eyes closed. Suddenly, two men are on top of me. I fight like a cornered alley cat. “Get her clothes off.” Do so at your own risk. You picked the wrong girl to mess with.

I’m being dragged across the floor, my ankles held captive as I twist and turn. My shirt is pulled up over my bra but I don’t stop fighting. I don’t stop fighting until I’m free.

It was hard. It was scary. But I did it. I faced my fear. The knowledge that at least 3 of my friends were lifting me up before the throne helped. Do I ever want to be put in this position? No. Am I going to go looking for trouble? Definitely not. But I faced my fear and now I have a better chance if I ever find myself in that position again. And every time someone had me pinned, I was able to break free. Sometimes it took longer than others. But I got away every time. So did the other two ladies who looked as wigged out as I felt. Makes me wonder if they aren’t fellow survivors.

I faced the terror, the flashbacks, the potential for nightmares. Because if I hadn’t, then he would have won. And that will never happen again.

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