So apparently my self-defense class is getting to me a little more than I thought. I hate these nightmares and wish that I could figure out what it is that triggers them. It’s usually when I’ve drank some alcohol but not every time. I wasn’t taking self-defense before. Something keeps un-repressing these memories though. *sigh* What to do?

Waking Nightmare – originally written and posted April 30, 2006

I’m not alright
I’m not okay
I lied to you
When you asked today

It was like a bad dream
It was a nightmare
I’m sorry I lied
I know that you care

It was him again
Just like last time
His hands in places
That are only mine

This one was vivid
This one was real
Even now, his tongue
In me I can feel

I hate that he has
This power over me
I want to break away
I want to be free

How can I though?
He haunts in my sleep
Waking and dreaming
These feelings just keep

They keep coming back
I don’t know what to do
Leave me alone!
What have I done to you?!