Lauren: So my left arm has this really weird pain in it. It’s right around the elbow and it hurts at really weird times, like when I’m brushing my hair or trying to pick something up.

Doctor: You have tennis elbow.

Lauren: But I wondered if that was what it was so I looked it up and it didn’t seem right.

Doctor: *laughs at me* It’s tennis elbow.

Lauren: But I don’t play tennis.

Doctor: *more laughing* You don’t have to play tennis. It’s the contact and vibration of hitting something.

Lauren: Self-defense class: 20, Lauren: 0

Can I please have a week where I don’t have some sort of injury?