By my understanding, GreekPhysique’s claim is that these types of girls don’t get asked out. Just like the “Nice Guy” is always the “friend who is so sweet” or the one you can “talk to about anything”, these “Girls with Skills” are the ones that guys like to hang out with but never ask out. Here is my question though: if I fall into this category, why do I still have guys asking me out? It’s not that I don’t have guys asking, it’s that for one reason or another, my answer is “hell no!” You’re 30 and still live at home? Uh, no. You have an AWFUL relationship with your mother? Definitely not. You can’t hold down a job (for reasons other than legitimate medical problems or some type of family emergency)? Not a chance. When I ask if you are a Christian, your answer is “Isn’t everyone who lives in America a Christian?” *buzzer sound* (Lest we forget the Steak n’ Shake Stalker incident. Thank God he never got up the guts to call. If he asked now, I’d laugh and walk away.) Or, in a lot of cases, we just aren’t compatible. He lives for rock climbing and I’m terrified of heights. He wants to be a missionary in Africa and while I love traveling, I like living in the U.S. (Most of the time.) He is *majorly* into computers and I can blog, check email, and know a tiny bit of technical stuff. Or something in our personalities conflict so that conversation is strained and awkward.
My problem is not the quantity of men. But I have standards. I have asked people I trust if they are unreasonable and the answer is always no.Ā Are these the men that I scare off? It makes absolutely no sense to me. The strong, confident, Christian men who know how to treat a woman I scare off but the random guys on the street who yell at me from the car, they have no problem. Is it because they are used to rejection and figure “What the hell?”
I have been told by various people that I would make the perfect wife. (To which I reply “Have you seen my attempts at cooking?”) I am *definitely* not perfect. Far from it. And I don’t expect my hypothetical man to be either. If I want grace and understanding when I screw up, I better be giving it out when others do. (Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.) But that doesn’t mean that I’m willing to look past major character flaws or simple incompatibility.
So I guess my question is this: do nice guys get the incompatible girls asking them out too? Because the way my “nice guy friends” talk, they *never* get asked out. What do you all look for when you’re looking for a significant other? Would you date a ‘Girl with Skills’ or a ‘Nice Guy’? What makes or breaks a potential relationship for you?
***********************************
No, I’m not re-thinking my “I don’t see myself married” stance. Even if “Mr. Right” did come along, I wouldn’t know what to do with him. “You’re great but that whole marriage thing……”
3 comments
Comments feed for this article
Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 9:04 PM
greekphysique
Wow, you read my blog! I’m surprised, I didn’t think you did. I saw this in google reader and said “Wait, that sounds like my post!”, ha. By the way, feel free to comment on my posts–I opened it up to non-Xangans now, FYI.
My brother is a classic nice guy, but he gets the loud inappropriate girls to like him, ha. Of course, he doesn’t want them, so it goes nowhere. But mostly, nice guys don’t get asked out at all except by problem girls–I think it goes both ways.
Anyway, I’d point out that I referred mainly to average-looking girls in the post. If you are really pretty, guys will ask you out regardless of personality, although I think that even really pretty Girls With Skills don’t get as many dates as they should. That might explain why guys ask you out even if you are a Girl With Skills. š
Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 9:43 AM
littlecornerofmyworld16
I will be sure to stop by and comment then. š
Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 1:45 PM
Kevin Ross
I’d agree with greekphysique. I actually had this conversation with a couple friends of mine the other day. It’s totally true that nice guys pretty much only get asked out by problem girls. I’ve experienced this a lot lately and its really frustrating when the ones you really want to go out with just kinda overlook you for someone who turns out to be a jerk. I think thats why nice guys most the time end up going out with not so nice girls, they’re just sick of being turned down by girls that meet their standards.