I feel extremely unstable these days. My emotions are all over the place. Everything annoys me. Everything makes me want to cry. I go from laughing to complete depression. It is all I can do not to tell irritating customers what I really think. It is all I can do not to slam on my breaks when someone is following too closely. It is all I can do not to cry when someone sounds even a little short with me.

I just want to scream until all the pain inside of me is out in cosmos. I want to run until I can’t move. I want to hide away from the world and not deal with everything falling down around me. I want to have a normal, loving relationship with my father. I want my baby sister to stay here. I want to figure out what the hell it is I want to be when I grow up. I want to be in a job that doesn’t drive me crazy. I want to be in a job that doesn’t hurt my back. I want to be in love with someone who my friends love and who loves my friends. I want to be in love with someone who is everything I need and I am everything they need. I don’t want to be in love at all.

I’m sick of feeling. I’m sick of hurting. I’m sick of crying. I’m sick of all of it.

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