I have had a bit of an epiphany (again. Where were all of these brilliant thoughts 4 years ago?) I’ve realized that, like many (or most…) Americans, I have a serious problem with boredom. I am so used to constantly being stimulated that lack of that stimulation drives me crazy.

This is one of the reasons I *hate* driving myself places. (The other being that people behind the wheel are idiots. But that’s a blog for another day.) Sure, I’ve got the radio. But half of the “entertainment” in that is me trying to find a radio station not playing ‘Gives You Hell’ or ‘Poker Face’. If I have a new cd to entertain me, it lasts for awhile. But pretty soon I want something different and find myself bored again. I would so much rather have someone drive me places so I could read on the way.

I can’t even go for a nice walk without my headphones or a book to read. (Yes, I read while I walk the dogs. But I don’t listen to music at the same time. Because then I don’t see *or* hear the cars.) This is one of the reasons why I’ve been so lax about going to the gym for all these years. It’s boring. Now I have Shane to go with me and I’m willing to make a sacrifice on the “fighting my adversity to boredom” front since the benefits of going to the gym outweigh that.

This is a big part of what got me into trouble. It wasn’t just my lack of discipline. It was my inability to drive to school or walk across campus or drive home without someone to talk to. It was my inability to “be still and know that I am God”. I’ve been wanting to go on a silent retreat for quite some time now but I have to wonder if I will be able to pull it off. I’m sure the first 30 minutes would be fine….maybe. But now I’m even more determined to do this. To go somewhere and completely unplug and just….be still. No music, no computer, no phone, no books. Maybe my yoga mat. (I like to do the “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” prayer along with my breathing while I do yoga.)

I need to learn how to be okay with quiet. I need to learn how to be okay without stimulation. I need to learn how to listen for God.

Okay, so I have the discipline of silence and maybe meditation. Does anyone have any other (or better) ideas? Also, does anyone have a recommendation for books on dealing with boredom? (Shane F. and Rich, I’m looking at you.)

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