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…why I don’t read Twitter anymore. Most people are not that funny.

Also why I no longer tweet. I’m not that funny.

Although I did get a good reaction from my “‘Your Body is a Wonderland’? More like an amusement park.” 😉

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Him: So do you want me to pull your hair and call you names?

Her: No. I’m your wife, not your bitch.

Him: I know. I’m your bitch.

And don’t you forget it. 😉

Three times now (this week…) I have left the house in my pajamas. The first was on Wednesday when I went to pick Shane up from Sasha’s house. They were having Jew Appreciation night at his house since I had turned ours into the IKEA sale pictured in the previous post.

We had left Shane’s car at his work because A: he currently has no air conditioning and B: he was planning on dragging me out of bed at 5:30 to go get his Droid X. So that meant that at 11:30 at night, I was walking out to my car in a tank top, very thin pj bottoms, a robe, and my flip flops. Of course, this just happened to coincide with our next door neighbors arriving home so they got to see me in all of my glory. (Actually, the fact that I have trouble remembering that I shouldn’t walk by open windows before I get dressed probably has half the neighborhood seeing me in all my glory. I’m a peeping tom’s dream!) But I held my head high and walked straight to my car. Then when we got home, they were STILL out there. Probably hoping for a repeat performance. So before we got out of the car I told Shane to act drunk. “Then I can pretend that I just went to drag your drunk ass off the bar stool and bring you home to your family.” His drinking upsets the kitties.

The second and third times were yesterday. After being dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn, I was exhausted and working on a migraine so I stayed home from school. I finally decided that a nap was in order around 4:17. At 4:46, I woke up to a downpour that rivaled the rain I saw when I was caught in a hurricane in Florida. My first groggy thought was “Wow, it’s really storming out there.” Quickly followed by a not-so-groggy “Oh sh*t, my car windows are open!!!!” That is the last time I listen to wunderground.com. 30% chance of precipitation they said. Apparently in Indiana, 30% is code for 110%.

Worst times to not be able to find your keys:

1. You are in labor.

2. You have cut your thumb off with a kitchen knife.

3. It is a freaking monsoon and your car windows are open.

I fly out of bed and downstairs, dig frantically through my purse for my keys, finally find them buried under crap on the table, and go flying out the front door into the downpour in my bare feet and pjs. Thank God I wasn’t napping naked for once. (Just kidding.)

By the time I get to my car, I am completely soaked. Fortunately, the inside of my car wasn’t as bad. I rolled up the windows and then debated what to do. On top of the Ark building quantities of rain, there was also “frequent and dangerous lightening” crashing down around me. Finally I decided to pull my car around to the back of our house and at least park it in the driveway so someone wouldn’t hit it while driving in the storm. Not that I could actually park IN the garage since *somebodies* trailer is in my spot. (Love you, baby!)

So I park, open the garage door, and then wait for a brief pause in the lightening before I jump out of my car and make a run for it. As soon as I am out the door, I hear some guys voice yelling “HEY!” at me. As if I’m going to stop in my second (okay, first) shower of the day and find out what he wants. I continued my dash and made it inside without being struck by lightening. I have no idea who it was that yelled. Maybe it was one of the neighbors wanting to comment on more of my fine attire.

After my mad dash into the monsoon

These pictures do not do justice to how soaked I was. Or how hot my pajamas are.

The third time was later that day when it stopped raining and I went out to get the mail. Our neighbor who lives on the other side of us has a new girlfriend whom I have not yet met. She just happened to step outside to make a phone call as I was traipsing back into the house in my third set of pjs for the day. (The first pair got wet because I was washing our carpet and didn’t roll the legs up.) And of course she’s this really cute and nice girl who, even though I wasn’t even making eye contact (which all people who live in neighborhoods know is code for “I’m acting like you aren’t here right now!”), she gives a very chirpy “Hi!” I reluctantly lift my head, mumble hi, and hurry back inside. Sorry, Neighbors-New-Cute-Girlfriend. You seemed very sweet from our brief exchange and I promise to be nicer the next time we meet.

Assuming, of course, that I’m not in my pajamas.

Listening: ‘Books Written for Girls’ by Camera Obscura

Reading: This would completely eliminate some peoples Twitter accounts.

Thinking: Being a Christian means that the cycle of violence, hate, and retaliation stops with you. And sometimes that *really* sucks. But in the end, I know that it is right.

How to Annoy Me: Act like you are above someone simply because you are more skilled at the task at hand then they currently are.

How to Charm Me: Be the answer to my prayers without even knowing it.

Quote of the Day: It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers. – Marcia Haydee

Listening: ‘Winners and Losers’ by Social Distortion (Thanks to author Bob Ford for directing me to this band!)

Reading: “In March 2007, Chiquita Brands plead guilty to doing business with a terrorist organization…” (People make me sick, I swear.)

Enjoying: The Daily Dish: Best Typo Ever

Thinking: I’m just…happy. 🙂

How to Annoy Me: People have been acting more and more insane behind the wheel of a car. I can’t decide if I’m annoyed or just plain scared.

How to Charm Me: Be the man I never knew I wanted. 🙂

Quote of the Day: I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. – Douglas Adams (I also think that this is going to be my life quote!)

Due to the significant decrease in my online activity, I had forgotten just how stupid and spineless people can be when you hand them a keyboard and a computer screen to hide behind. Since it has been months since I’ve been to a message board (so this is what life is like when you don’t have someone whining about “why don’t you ever visit the message board anymore?”), I had forgotten what it was like to deal with trolls. I had forgotten what it was like to go head to head with people who are so stuck in their own insecurities and feelings of worthlessness that they can’t manage to act like a civilized human being. Lucky for me, maybe 50 people read this website on a somewhat regular basis and due to the lack of unintelligent, hateful comments, I’m assuming none of you are trolls. And for that, I thank you. Because dealing with trolls is exhausting. Dealing with people who say every hateful thing you can imagine online but wouldn’t say it to your face is aggravating. Because you can’t reach through the screen and slap them silly. You can’t shake them and say “WE DON’T HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO LIVE ON THE SAME PLANET!” I don’t agree with people who I live in the same house with but somehow we manage to coexist. There are people who just don’t understand that though. Which is why I give mad props to Heather Armstrong who writes for a living and deals with these idiots every day of her life. And now, she gets to make money off of their stupidity.

Him: *reading over her shoulder* A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle? Why can’t it be a woman needs a man like a dog needs a treat? The dog doesn’t need the treat but it wants the treat and likes the treat.

Her: So in this analogy, you’re the treat and I’m the dog?

Him: Yes.

Her: Don’t touch me.

Watching: ”That’s why we snap and kill you in your sleep…”

Enjoying: ‘Hello Kitty Cupcakes’

Thinking: Moving is such a pain in the ass.

How to Annoy Me: Make no attempt to clean up after yourself in the bathroom. EW!

How to Charm Me: Do whatever you can to help me, even if it means walking away.

Quote of the Day: We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are. – Anais Nin

Random Quirk: I compulsively correct grammer and spelling mistakes.

1000 Words: daily-23

Listening: ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ by The Script

Enjoying: Deeper than the chicken and the egg…

Thinking: I wish I had answers for you.

How to Annoy Me: Yesterday was pretty much an entire blogs worth of annoy.

How to Charm Me: Decide that I am your Indiana tea pusher. 😀

Quote of the Day: There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life. – Unknown

Random Quirk: I can’t keep my hands still. I either have to play with something in my hands or I will simply play with my hands.

1000 Words: daily-22

Listening: ‘Tonight and the Rest of My Life’ by Nina Gordon

Enjoying: “Christian Convenience Store”

Thinking: Where did all the warm weather go?!

How to Annoy Me: Be nice and warm and then by the time I get out of class, have a freezing monsoon pouring down on me.

How to Charm Me: Be encouraging as I try to learn these new styles of dance.

Daily Photo: p1190482

Flickr Photos

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