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Listening: ‘Money Can’t Buy It’ by Annie Lennox

Reading: ‘Mercy’ by Jodi Picoult

Thinking: Damn power lines…

How to Annoy Me: Mess with me when you know I’m tired and crabby.

How to Charm Me: Chat with me while you ring me up. Friendly people are so rare.

Quote of the Day: What power has love but forgiveness? In other words, by it’s intervention, what has been done can be undone. What good is it otherwise? – William Carlos Williams

Watching: ‘Reimagine’ by Mark Scandrette

Reading: OMG, Bernie Mac died?!

Thinking: I am so out of the loop.

How to Annoy Me: Too sick to remember.

How to Charm Me: Keep me laughing to get me through the day.


enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to…


something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams

wants to see her in an hour…


a youth she’s content to leave behind….


a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to

retelling it in her old age….


a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…


one friend who always makes her laugh

and one who lets her cry…


a good piece of furniture

not previously owned by anyone else in her family…


eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored…


a feeling of

control over her destiny..


how to fall in love without losing herself..


how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend


ruining the friendship…


when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK



that she can’t change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..


that her childhood may not have been perfect…

but it’s over…


what she would and wouldn’t

do for love or more..


how to live alone…

even if she doesn’t like it..


whom she can trust,

whom she can’t,

and why she shouldn’t take it personally…


where to go…

be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..


a charming Inn in the woods….
when her soul needs



What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…

a month…and a year…

Pamela Redmond Satran

Listening: “Does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?” (from ‘Enchanted’)

Reading: ‘The Path of Celtic Prayer: An Ancient Way to Everyday Joy’ by Calvin Miller

Thinking: Close enough for jazz…

Enjoying: I wouldn’t survive this marriage preparation class.

How to Annoy Me: Tell me you will kill me if I cut my hair. IT’S MY HAIR!

How to Charm Me: Humbly help a man I assume is your father maintain his dignity in a wheelchair.

Quote of the Day: God shall not refuse or reject whoever strives to praise Him at the beginning and end of the day. – Welsh Poem

Listening: ‘Lost’ by Anouk (The video is a little odd…)

Reading: “Would I be making a stronger statement with willow?”

Thinking: You know a movie is gonna be good when the guys on each side of you grip your knees in excitement at the preview.

How to Annoy Me: Continue setting off firecrackers even though it is no longer the 4th. Some of us have to sleep.

How to Charm Me: Drive so that I don’t have to. It’s nice to be the passenger sometimes.

Quote of the Day: I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

100 Things About Me (Thanks RWG for the idea!)

1. I love reading.

2. I have been dancing off and on since I was 5.

3. A knee injury when I was 15 put an end to that for many years.

4. I got my driver’s license a week before I graduated high school.

5. I graduated a year early.

6. I made the Dean’s List my first year of college which neither of my following schools accepted as a real school year.

7. I heart sushi.

8. I have only cried at 3 movies: Crash, Hotel Rwanda, and The Passion of the Christ.

9. The only radio stations I listen to are 92.3 (world class rock) and 88.7 (classical).

10. However, my taste in music is all over the place.

11. So is my taste in movies.

12. I think chick flicks are evil.

13. I have about 100 pairs of shoes.

14. I tend to exaggerate.

15. I didn’t date until I was almost 23.

16. No, that isn’t an exaggeration.

17. Still never been kissed.

18. No, that isn’t an invitation or a challenge to try.

19. My favorite forms of dance are contemporary and swing.

20. My brother taught me how to swing dance.

21. I love my brother.

22. My sister is pretty cool too. 🙂

23. One of my dreams is to travel and see pretty much everything.

24. My favorite colors are blue, yellow and green.

25. Despite this, I wear a lot of black.

26. I am not a sci-fi geek but I do enjoy some of it.

27. I’m much happier reading/watching historical stuff.

28. I’ve only been in the Emergency room once in my life.

29. The doctor didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t sexually active.

30. I’m a very stubborn and difficult patient.

31. I have never broken a bone. (Knock on wood.)

32. I had braces for three years.

33. It was supposed to be two but I wouldn’t let them pull my teeth.

34. I have scoliosis.

35. I also have asthma.

36. I once told my friend Bryan that I wasn’t getting married because I had too many physical problems. He said he would marry me.

37. He later dumped me for a younger model. 😉

38. I was in ‘The Taming of the Shrew’ in high school.

39. Guess who was the shrew…..

40. I started writing my first book when I was 15.

41. No, you can’t read it.

42. I have been in 5 weddings so far.

43. I’m not making anymore friends so I don’t have to be in anymore weddings. 😉

44. I don’t see myself as married.

45. There are many reasons for this and it’s not just an “I hate men” thing.

46. No, I’m not a lesbian.

47. Yes, I’m sure.

48. I handle funerals and sad things by cracking jokes a lot.

49. This doesn’t go over so well sometimes.

50. I took piano lessons for years.

51. If I had practiced, I could be quite good.

52. I have a lot of OCD tendencies.

53. If I made an announcement every time one of my “quirks” hit, I’d be placed in a mental hospital.

54. Normalcy is for losers.

55. I have switched colleges and majors 3 times.

56. No, I’m not indecisive……well, maybe I am…….

57. I enjoy watching football, basketball, and soccer, even though I don’t know much about them.

58. I have tried to start a paper journal hundreds of times.

59. I can only “blog” my journals.

60. I talk to myself.

61. Out loud.

62. I find cleaning therapeutic.

63. Large quantities of chocolate is also therapeutic.

64. It has taken me almost a year to get through ‘Anna Karenina’.

65. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are essential.

66. I am an assistant to a horror writer even though I don’t read horror.

67. I am fiercely protective of my friends and family.

68. I have no trouble speaking my mind and telling someone exactly what I think of them.

69. Sometimes this gets me into trouble.

70. My “spiritual birthday” is June 26th. I will be 8 this year.

71. I get labeled “Emergent” (or crazy) but I don’t consider myself that. I am merely a woman who is trying to follow Jesus in every area of her life.

72. If this means I am a fool, so be it.

73. If I do marry, I want to adopt babies from China.

74. I used to hate the color pink.

75. And being girly.

76. I’ve now realized that being feminine doesn’t mean I have to be an airhead who only thinks about boys and clothes.

77. I still prefer jeans and a hoodie though.

78. I think Hello Kitty is awesome.

79. Pedicures are pure torture for me.

80. Mostly because I am so unbelievably ticklish.

81. If you try to tickle me, I will kick you.

82. If something is a “fad”, I will purposefully not buy it. (Like these.)

83. I got a third degree burn on my arm in high school.

84. I am addicted to Tootsie Rolls and Reese’s Cups.

85. There is no cure.

86. I drink enough water to make a camel have to pee.

87. I am PETRIFIED of spiders and heights.

88. Despite my fear of heights, I want to go rock climbing.

89. I also want to learn how to fly a plane.

90. I love singing but won’t do it in public.

91. My mathematical skills are pathetic.

92. My reading and writing skills make up for this.

93. I drink way too much coffee.

94. I hate wearing shorts.

95. I love poetry.

96. And quotes.

97. Most of what I say is a quote from something.

98. Everyone talks about changing the world but no one thinks to change himself. – Tolstoy

99. I feel like I should be brilliant for this last one.

100. But this is all you’re getting. 🙂

So apparently my self-defense class is getting to me a little more than I thought. I hate these nightmares and wish that I could figure out what it is that triggers them. It’s usually when I’ve drank some alcohol but not every time. I wasn’t taking self-defense before. Something keeps un-repressing these memories though. *sigh* What to do?

Waking Nightmare – originally written and posted April 30, 2006

I’m not alright
I’m not okay
I lied to you
When you asked today

It was like a bad dream
It was a nightmare
I’m sorry I lied
I know that you care

It was him again
Just like last time
His hands in places
That are only mine

This one was vivid
This one was real
Even now, his tongue
In me I can feel

I hate that he has
This power over me
I want to break away
I want to be free

How can I though?
He haunts in my sleep
Waking and dreaming
These feelings just keep

They keep coming back
I don’t know what to do
Leave me alone!
What have I done to you?!

Watching: Eddie Izzard’s Encore on Computers (I can’t relate to this at all! “I can access printer!”)

Reading: ‘Letters to a Young Poet and The Possibility of Being’ by Rainer Maria Rilke

Thinking: I have the best friends in the world. 🙂

How to Charm Me: Stay up late two nights in a row to help me with my paper.

How to Charm Me2*: Chat online with me all day to keep me company when I’m sick.

Quote for the Day: The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring out of concern born for all things. – Buddha

* Despite the being sick and having a hurt ankle, today was a good day. I didn’t feel like putting an annoyance down. (Perhaps that has something to do with my limited interaction with the majority of the human race today…….)

Listening: ‘All You Need is Love’ from the ‘Across the Universe’ soundtrack (Originally by The Beatles)

Reading: ‘White Protestantism and the Negro’ by David M. Reimers (It’s for school.)

Thinking: Would it be so wrong to eat pancakes and sushi in the same meal?

How to Annoy Me: Don’t tell me which of my poems is being turned into a song.

How to Charm Me: Drive me to class so that I don’t have to waste time and money driving and then walking to class.

Quote for the Day: I had always felt life first as a story – and if there is a story there is a Storyteller. – G.K. Chesterton

P.S. I got an A on my Survey of African American Culture test!

My grandma passed away today. Her name was Betty Ann David. She loved golf, J.A.G. re-runs and vodka. I wasn’t particularly close to her because she and my grandpa lived in Florida by the time I got old enough to have a real relationship with them. I now have only one set of grandparents. Please pray for my dad, aunt, and uncle because both of their parents are gone now. As far as I know, both my grandma and grandpa were Christians so they are in a better place where disease and old age can’t hurt them anymore.

My darling, thou wilt never know

The grinding agony of woe

That we have borne for thee.

Thus may we consolation tear

E’en from the depth of our despair

And wasting misery.

The nightly anguish thou art spared

When all the crushing truth is bared

To the awakening mind,

When the galled heart is pierced with grief,

Till wildly it implores relief,

But small relief can find.

Nor know’st thou what it is to lie

Looking forth with streaming eye

On life’s lone wilderness.

‘Weary, weary, dark and drear,

How shall I the journey bear,

The burden and distress?’

Then since thou art spared such pain

We will not wish thee here again;

He that lives must mourn.

God help us through our misery

And give us rest and joy with thee

When we reach our bourne!

– Charlotte Bronte

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