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Shane: *picks up set of wooden spoons*

Me: Don’t even think about it.

Shane: Come on, I need a wooden spoon.

Me: Do you promise to never hit me with that?

Shane: I can make no such promise.

Me: You do realize that anyone who overheard that now thinks we have an abusive relationship.

Or a kinky one. 😉

Her: I think this tub is smaller than the one at Rachel’s.

Him: It’s just the curtain. It’s in too far. *moves curtain closer to 2nd curtain rod* How’s that?

Her: I can’t get the curtain open now. Much better. 😛

(We’ve been cleaning and organizing and decorating. Pictures to come eventually.)

Him: *reading over her shoulder* A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle? Why can’t it be a woman needs a man like a dog needs a treat? The dog doesn’t need the treat but it wants the treat and likes the treat.

Her: So in this analogy, you’re the treat and I’m the dog?

Him: Yes.

Her: Don’t touch me.

Her: *does happy dance after walking out the door*

Him: *laughs*

Her: It’s a *beautiful* day!

Him: Are you happy?

Her: Yes. And you know what that means?

Him: You don’t hate me anymore?

Her: Exactly.

Mom: I was thinking of putting your spare bed in my room and storing the other one.

Me: You do realize it’s longer and you already don’t have room to walk in there?

Mom: That’s true.

Me: Not to mention you are then faced with the daunting task of finding extra long sheets which are more expensive.

Mom: I’ll get Shane to do it.

Me: And they apparently don’t make extra long in flannel…

Mom: That’s because rich people don’t use flannel. They just turn up the heat.

Listening: ‘Far Away’ by Nickleback

Reading: ‘3 Ways to Avoid Sabotaging Your Relationships with Men’ (They forget to add “No yelling “Stop asking me out before I get a restraining order, you freak!” at poor, unsuspecting males.” That might cause a few problems too.)

Thinking: Oh, the hope of maybe…curse it!


How to Charm Me: Patiently put up with my fevered crazy self and my demands that you entertain me. Dance, monkey! (Me? A brat? Never. Especially not when I’m sick.)

Conversations from the Couch: *phone rings*

Friend: Don’t you want to get that?

Me: It’s not important.

Friend: It’s two in the morning. Those calls are usually important.

Me: If *I’m* someone’s suicide hotline, they may as well put the noose around their neck because my response to 2 AM calls is “Die, jerk.”

Him: How was your day?

Her: I have caesar dressing in my eye.

Him: That good, huh?

Testing Center Assistant: Do you need a calculator?

Me: No, I’m going to flunk anyway.

TCA: *laughing* You can’t flunk a placement test.

Me: Oh, watch me.

TCA: People are always worried about this test. You can’t flunk it.

Me: No, really. This isn’t going to end well.

I think I successfully filled out the survey at the beginning…

Mom: What do you want for dinner?

Me: I dunno. What are my options?

Mom: Mikayla wants Subway.

Me: That’s fine. Who’s going to go get it?

*mother and daughter exchange a look*

Mom: Joshua!

Me: Is he home?

Mom: No. But I can call him!

Me: We are officially pathetic. Not only do we not want to cook, we’re too lazy to go get it.

(If any of you wonder why I lack cooking skills, it’s because of this repeated scenario in the David household.)

*20 minutes later*

Me: You do realize we’d be the first animals eaten at the water hole.

Mom: No we wouldn’t. We’d be too skinny. Let me call Joshua and see where he is.

Me: So basically we’re pathetic *and* demanding.

Lauren: *walking to car to get stuff to change into for bachelorette party*

Emily: Oh, you poor thing. You look so tired.

Lauren: I am.

Emily: Aw. If you liked hugs, I’d give you one.

Lauren: *turns around and grabs Em in a hug*

Emily: *laughing* Man, you must be a mess.

Lauren: You have no idea.

So far this week I have taken two finals (God only knows how I did on them), wrote a 12 page paper, plus a 7 page retrospective essay, went to dance practice for 4 1/2 hours, went to a bachelorette party, and have slept……..well, when I could. Tomorrow I have my last final (thank God!), more dance practice, and the rehearsal. Then Saturday is the wedding and my dance performance. After that, don’t be surprised if you don’t see me for about a week. I will be sleeping. Life has officially been put on hold until Monday.

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