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Calvin: *sitting at his desk, doing homework* Everything is so darn hard! I wish I could just take a pill to be perfect and I wish I could just push a button to have anything I want.

Hobbes: The American dream lives on.

Calvin: Why should I have to *work* for everything?! It’s like saying I don’t deserve it!

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Me: I’m off to flunk my math test.

Mom: Could you be more pessimistic?

Me: Yes. I’m off to flunk my math test and die.

(Will find out tomorrow if I actually did flunk.)

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