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They played this song at New Paradigm on Sunday and I cried and cried and cried. I love the part about dancing though.

I was reading any article that was advising women not to listen to songs that make them believe that they can’t live without a man. Songs such as ‘No Air’ by Jordin Sparks (“Losing you is like living in a world with no air…how do you expect me to live alone with just me? ‘Cause my world revolves around you, it’s just so hard for me to breathe.”) or ‘Here with Me’ by Dido (“I won’t sleep, I can’t breathe…I cannot be until you’re resting here with me”). As pretty or catchy as these songs may be, they get into our heads and mess with our emotions. I would much rather be reminded that I am a strong survivor then led to believe that I need a man to save me.

10. ‘I Don’t Need A Man’ by The Pussycat Dolls (They know they don’t need men to be happy. “I don’t need man to make it happen, I get off being free. I don’t need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing. I don’t need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete…”)

9. ‘Single’ by Natasha Bedingfeld (She’s happy being single. “I’m not waiting around for a man to save me, don’t depend on a guy to validate me. I don’t need to be anyone’s baby, no, I don’t need another half to make me whole.”)

8. ‘Bitch’ by Meredith Brooks (She isn’t going to change who she is just to please her man. “I’m nothing in between and you know you wouldn’t want it any other way.”)

7. ‘Miss Independent’ by Kelly Clarkson (She found love but not because she “needed” a man. She was “Miss Independent, Miss Self-sufficient…Miss Unafraid….Miss Don’t Let A Man Interfere…”)

6. ‘Too Little Too Late’ by Jojo (She dated a guy but he screwed up and she’s not stupid or needy enough to keep taking him back. “Let me go now ’cause time has made me strong. I’m starting to move on. I’m gonna say this now, your chance has come and gone…”)

5. ‘Knock ‘Em Out’ by Lily Allen (Guys hit on her in the bar but instead of getting an ego boost on guys she’s not interested in, she tells them to buzz off. “Go away now, let me go. Are you stupid or just a little slow? Go away now, I’ve made myself clear. It’s not going to happen, not in a million years.”)

4. ‘Stand in the Rain’ by Superchick (Life hits her hard but she stands strong against it. “Stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it’s all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won’t drown, and one day what’s lost will be found.”)

3. ‘Fighter’ by Christina Aguilera (He knocked her down but she got back up and is that much stronger. “Made me learn a little bit faster, made my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter…”)

2. ‘Listen’ by Beyonce (She’s done with his plan for her life. She’s standing on her own. “The time has come for my dreams to be heard, they will not be pushed aside or turned into your own….I am alone at a crossroads, I’m not at home in my own home, you should have known. I’m done believin’ you!”)

1. ‘Survivor’ by Destiny’s Child (He’s gone and she’s stronger. “You thought I’d be weak without ya, but I’m stronger. You thought I’d be broke without ya, but I’m richer. You thought I’d be sad without ya, I laugh harder. You thought I wouldn’t grow without ya, now I’m wiser….I’m a survivor.”)

There are two things I most regret and both are matters of self-discipline.

1. That I didn’t stick with piano

2. That I haven’t been more dedicated to dance

The worship pastor at my former church told me that I had a natural touch on the piano. Had I practiced more and stuck with my lessons, I could probably be really good. Instead, the other night I sat down at a piano, and I could barely remember ‘Canon in D’. This made me extremely sad. I used to have a lot of pieces memorized. I couldn’t even remember the beginning to ‘All My Life’. I need to start sitting down at my keyboard every now and then. Otherwise I fear I will lose it completely.

As for dance, my lack of dedication over the years was partly due to my knee injury. I tried to take tap again after I thought it had healed and the pain was too much. Part of me feared that was the end. But time seems to have helped. (And by time I mean almost 10 years.) I had intended to take some form of dance class this summer but lack of money put an end to that idea. I’ve already lost my flexibility. I need to do something. It’s too long until MoCo starts back up. I can’t let the fact that work exhausts me impede me from doing something that I love. To paraphrase the famous ‘Chariots of Fire’ quote:

I believe God made me for a purpose…and when I dance, I feel His pleasure.

I want to read more, I want to write more, I want to play more, I want to dance more. It is in these areas that I have been gifted and it is in these areas that I find Jesus. Regrets no longer. These just became goals.

I love this video. The pictures are gorgeous. And I want to dance to the song. (Ignore the one picture of the stripper. I don’t know why they felt they had to add that. :-P) I’d also like to find the sheet music so I can play it on the piano.

Dancing – Elisa

Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
’cause it’s all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you, around you
And I know that I’ll be leaving soon
My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And you see that I can’t stop shaking

No, I won’t step back but I’ll look down to hide from your eyes
’cause what I feel is so sweet and I’m scared that even my own breath
Oh, could burst it if it were a bubble
And I’d better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And I hope that you won’t hurt me

I’m dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music’s the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I just put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And I hope that you won’t hurt me
My arms around you, they’re around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they’re on you,
they’re on you

My eyes

Flickr Photos