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1. A friend who takes your side and has the guts to tell you when you’re wrong.
2. One item of clothing that instantly makes you feel twice as beautiful and half as nervous.
3. The occasional good cry, for no particular reason.
4. A man who just cannot get enough of your body.
5. At least as much pay as the guy at the next desk who does the same job.
6. A same-size friend with an incredible closet.
7. A really hot, really fast red car. Failing that, really hot red shoes you can run in.
8. The expensive toilet paper.
9. To sometimes lie back and take, take, take in bed.
10. A grandparent equivalent: wise, huggable, all ears.
11. A life in which you play the starring role.

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Listening: ‘Rock Your Soul’ by Elisa

Reading: ‘Top 5: Reasons it’s hard being a woman’

Thinking: So ready to be done with math.

How to Annoy Me: Whistle at me when I’m walking to class. There ain’t nothin’ here for you!

How to Charm Me: Drop off the eyeliner so I don’t have to add one more thing to my list of stuff I need to do.

Quote of the Day: If you don’t like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time. – Marian Wright Edelman

Listening: ‘Galway Girl’ by Steve Earle

Reading: ‘You Can’t Change the World’

Thinking: Thank you, Jesus.

How to Annoy Me: Give any of them information with which to further stalk me. You’re not helpful!

How to Charm Me: Help me get a gift to a friend. πŸ™‚

Quote of the Day: Contrary to popular opinion, women are not so sentimental as men, but are much more hardheaded. – Taylor Caldwell

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams

wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to

retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

one friend who always makes her laugh

and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

a good piece of furniture

not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

a feeling of

control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend

without;

ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK

AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

that she can’t change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

that her childhood may not have been perfect…

but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

what she would and wouldn’t

do for love or more..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW….

how to live alone…

even if she doesn’t like it..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,

whom she can’t,

and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

where to go…

be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..

or

a charming Inn in the woods….
when her soul needs

soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…

a month…and a year…

Pamela Redmond Satran

Watching: “Men have the ability to think about nothing and still breathe” (Thanks Seth!)

Reading: What Do Jerks and Shoes Have in Common?

Feeling Guilty: For putting “porn” as one of my tags, *knowing* that it would get people to click on it. (Don’t mind the maniacal cackling. I have no idea where it’s coming from. πŸ˜‰ )

Thinking: I really don’t want to change that light bulb. I just did, like, 6 months ago.

How to Annoy Me: Give me that disbelieving look when I tell you I’m going to read your book now that I have time to breathe.

How to Charm Me: Promise me that you will always tell me the truth. Even though you already do, you understand that today, I need that reassurance.

Quote for the Day: As you sojourn through life, forgive. No matter what has been done to you, said about you, or how painful it may be. In the end you will feel the warmth of the tapestry of love you’ve created. – Juan L. Christian

I nearly cried I was laughing so hard when I read this. Sorry boys, this is a very girl-oriented post. If you proceed, don’t say you weren’t warned. This woman sums up everything I’ve thought at the end of those ridiculous Always commercials. You go, girl!

*This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It’s PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants…which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’

Are you f***ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh**. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX*

An “online friend” posted this on his blog and it had me giggling. Here are my responses to the author’s 11 “secrets”.

#1. Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day – but it doesn’t mean we want to leave you.

Okay, aside from the lust part (the Bible says it is wrong to lust after a woman (or a man) with your eyes), I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. “Were you looking at her?” “Yes.” If she was that pretty, I probably was too. It doesn’t mean that your guy is a pig or that he wants to be with her. It means she’s pretty and he has eyes. *You* have to be the one confident enough to know that if he does go after her, he didn’t deserve you in the first place. (See #9 and #10 on my Girls vs. Women list and #12 on Jon’s Boys vs. Men list.) And guys, vice versa. If a girl leaves you for a “hotter” guy, she didn’t deserve you.

#2. We actually do play golf to get away from you.

Good! Go! You know why we have girls nights? To get away from you. You know why we go to Starbucks to read? To get away from you. It’s not that you don’t love us and we don’t love you, it’s that we’re human. I get sick of my best friends when I see them too much. (Love you all! πŸ™‚ ) Breaks are good. Breaks are necessary. If I was dating, there would be days I wouldn’t want to see you, talk to you, or think about you. Because I have a life and I’d expect you to have one as well. Otherwise I feel smothered.
#3. We’re unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we’ve made one to you.

Uh…….yeah. One person for the rest of my life? That’s a tad unnerving. Promising to love, honor, and cherish til death do you part? Sounds tough to me. Commitment is hard and messy and I certainly understand not wanting to make one. The only time I will be mad at you is if you are dragging some poor girl (or, ladies, some poor guy) along and she wants a commitment and you aren’t giving her one. Let her move on if that’s the case.

#4. Earning money makes us feel important.

That’s fine. It makes us feel important too. Again, I won’t have a problem unless you are trying to lord it over me or tell me I can’t make/have money of my own. Balance, baby.

#5. Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house.

Then why be such a drama queen and complain about it? You get to do something you enjoy and I get to enjoy it being fixed. Everybody wins. I promise to say thank you every time.

#6. We like it when you mother us, but we’re terrified you’ll become your mother.

Hey, thought terrifies me too. I love my mother but I don’t want to be her. I also don’t want to marry someone like my father.

#7. Every year we love you more.

Now why keep that a secret? (Of course, that does remind me of a joke. “One day a husband told his wife that husbands are like wine and that they get better with age. The next day she locked him in the cellar.” :-D)

#8. We don’t really understand what you’re talking about.

That’s okay. When you’re going on and on about that football play or how this part of the car works or why fart jokes are still funny to you, I don’t understand either. That’s part of any relationship. Learning from one another and doing our best to understand each other. And quite often, it doesn’t matter if you understood or not. Sometimes we just need to vent or to work things out outloud.

#9. We are terrified when you drive.

Right back atcha, babe.

#10. We’ll always wish we were 25 again.

Since I’m not yet past 25, I don’t quite understand this yet. But the way I hear it, everyone wishes they were still 25. Perhaps with the wisdom they’ve gained over the years though. (I do wish my body was 16 again. Dance was so much easier back then.)

#11. Give us an inch and we’ll give you a lifetime.

“I was on a trip to Mexico, standing on a beach, waxing my surfboard and admiring the glistening 10-foot waves, when I decided to marry the woman who is now my wife. Sure, this was three years before I got around to popping the question. But that was when I knew.

Why? Because she’d let me go on vacation alone. Hell, she made me go. This is the most important thing a man never told you: If you let us be dumb guys, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to go surfing — by ourselves — our silly little hearts, with their manly warts and all, will embrace you forever for it.”

Okay, I have heard of women who don’t give their guys any space but really? I’d be shoving him out the door. (See #2 on my Girls vs. Women list.) However, this is with the understanding that I get “me” time as well. If I let him go to Vegas with the guys, that means I get to go to the Bahamas with the girls. If he gets poker night, I get girls night out.

Those were just my thoughts as I read through the article. Take them for what they’re worth.

Flickr Photos

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